To Dream the Impossible Dream

Sure we're a small theatre --- arguably the Twin Cities' smallest. But we can still dream big, so when the call went out from Scott Mayer to submit proposals for Ivey Awards entertainment, we thought, "Why not apply?"

Look at it this way: the quality of our local theatre awards show has been getting better and better every year, but there's still one thing it's never had: a good, dirty pirate song. And we have several of those. In fact, our big dilemma is whether to propose a dirty song or a dirtier song.

Some might worry because the 1,000-seat State Theatre is almost ten times bigger than the 115-seat Gremlin, where we'll be performing for the Fringe. We say, "Bring it on!" We're waiting to do it. We're wanting to do it. If chosen, we have more than enough lust and bust to fill the State Theatre. And we can take full advantage of mikes nestled in our heavily advertised cleavage.

Arrrh nation's heritage

We, as a nation, are in grave danger of losing our collective piratical pop culture heritage. Fortunately, some folks are doing something about that.

No, I don't mean YARRRH! Yes, we steal and twist conventions from classic pirate movies, only resorting to complete invention when absolutely desperate. But the result, as action-packed and naughty as it will be, is really very postmodern and not to be confused with the classics themselves.

Another popular entertainment, the Pirates of the Caribbean series, is also eroding our collective knowledge about pirate cinema because it is much less honest than we are about the extent of its thievery. When describing YARRH! to my sister, I mentioned the character of Cecily Toadmoor, the beautiful niece of the loathsome Cyril Toadmoor, governor of Jamaica. She said, "Oh! Just like Kiera Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean." Oh, no, no, no. The trope of the daughter/niece of the governor being the love interest of the pirate captain goes back at least as far as Captain Blood (1935). Pirates had erased this from her memory.

But worse than this: some of our own cast members have never heard of Erroll Flynn!

Fortunately, Trylon, the Minneapolis microcinema, is coming to everyone's rescue and whetting our collective appetite for all things piratical with their "Pirates! Pirates! Pirates!" film series (Url: http://www.take-up.org/series/48/). During the month of June, they are showing five great pirate films: The Sea Hawk (1940, with Erroll Flynn), The Crimson Pirate (1952, with Burt Lancaster), Captain Blood (1935, Erroll Flynn again), The Pirate (1948, Gene Kelly and Judy Garland), and The Black Pirate (1926, Douglas Fairbanks --- live music by The Poor Nobodys).

These films are nowhere near as lusty and busty as YARRRH! is going to be, but they have romance, adventure, and stirring swordplay --- and you can bring a kid. Check them out! Then when you come to our show, you'll be able to impress your date by turning and whispering, "Oh that --- they stole that from The Sea Hawk."

Yarrrh, Dan Pinkerton